![]() When it comes to my voice, my strength, my conviction- to ask me to reduce that to "nice" is not a suggestion I am up for. It’s also the reason people are most likely to see me when I am pushed to that space. A low bar that is most often dismissed as existing at all. Which is the same standard I hold others’ to. I appreciate feedback and am in the practice of saying thank you for it. It is based in the belief that a person/organization/entity is capable of and would desire to improve. This is not an ask that I not be critiqued. The comfort in and consistency of these assertions feels more like misogyny than helpful feedback. It has been presented to me, in a frequency that feels more like blows than microaggressions, that I should consider being nicer. What I have found to be effective, and how that is different for each of us. But it also has as much to do with how I have used my voice for the last couple of decades. If I'm honest my anger right now likely has as much to do with whatever stage of isolation this is as recent events. Which feels for so many emotional and somatic reasons like it’s going to be a long haul. ![]() It’s silly, it makes me happy and it’s giving me incentive to do things that I know will feel better and I want to feel good. ![]() And somehow the “getting a sticker” aspect seems to over rule the “give self speech about oppressive body standards” which is kinda great. I’ve been making myself delightful little vegetable trays. I get a green star for eating vegetables. Especially since it’s not attached to any outcome, extra “tracking” or programming. I’ve been moving as little as possible and I’d like to increase that to more than nothing and this is manageable. I get a gold star for everyday I move for 20 minutes. All I really want to do is move around most days for a little bit and eat a dang vegetable. So that is likely to look different for everyone. It’s super simple and specific to me, meaning I know what I want to prioritize in the way I treat my body, what is doable and what is triggering. I will have long annoyed conversations with myself about diet culture and my innate value and while that is important, I will attend these meetings with myself over the choice to eat a damn green bean and I just don’t need that kind of emotional labor in my produce. But I know that if I jump into anything at all that looks or feels like a strategy one might utilize for aesthetic/composition changes I will derail myself completely. But at the risk of TMI, I’d like to have my digestive system feel like it’s working well on my behalf and to have energy and maybe even feel strong. I’m not seeing this in a binary good/bad way. I don’t feel anything negative about my choices. And I’ve found that as a result of my survival and comfort centered behaviors, I’m not feeling very embodied or well. I might die or accidentally kill someone if I misstep running an errand) has decreased, my available brain space for ANYTHING ELSE has increased. Unsurprisingly, now that my daily anxiety about Covid (i.e. Lots of cozy blankets and cozy food and all cozy everything. And part of how I got through was primarily treating my body in ways that comforted me. So if you’re looking for a pergola that will enhance your outdoor living space, definitely consider Struxure.My body has survived a pandemic thus far. ![]() These high-quality pergolas are worth the investment, and they will last for years to come. No matter what your budget is, there is a Struxure pergola that will fit your needs.
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